Here are a few moments that yes, made me feel completely helpless, but also made me feel those ever defining "mom" feelings. These are those times where you would take over all of your child's aches and pains so they can their normal carefree selves. Unfortunately, Carter has given me and his dad quite a few of these moments.
Our first situation I described in a previous post, was having to do the at home bili-lights. Sure it was great that he didn't have to stay in the hospital, but having to leave your newborn in that "suitcase" whenever he wasn't eating, that was awful!
When Carter was approx 10 weeks old and his first Christmas, he got RSV. This was terrifying! Once again we were able to stay out of the hospital by seeing the pediatrition each day and doing breathing treatments every 3-4 hours. We had taken Carter to the ER late on the 23rd where they gave him a few breathing treatments and sent us home to follow-up with md. I took Carter to the dr myself that day, where he tested him for RSV. (Scott will probably not appreciate this, oh well!!) Scott got home from work that afternoon just as it was time for a treatment I had placed little restless Carter in his swing to show Scott how to do the treatment. Almost immediately after the medicine started Carter stopped moving and crying, and closed his eyes. Scott became very concerned and yes had tears in his eyes, he thought something was wrong. Actually, completely opposite. The treatments allowed Carter to not have to fight so hard to breathe so this is when he fell asleep. Unfortunately, it may have been from this RSV at such a young age that Carter has Asthma.
On Carter's 1st birthday while watching him play I noticed a lump on his neck. It was small about the size of a pea and didn't seem to bother him. We had his one year check-up 2 days later. The doctor told me to watch it and if it became bothersome to him or grew to let him know. Well it did grow and became red and inflamed so we were referred to a pediatric surgeon. Carter was scheduled for outpatient surgery on a Thursday. The surgery went fine, although, watching a toddler come out of general anesthesia is horrible, lots of tears from mommy, I thought he was in pain, but they nurses insisted that this was a common reaction from the anesthesia. The surgeon decided to admit Carter overnight for observation. The lump that was removed was a necrotic lymph node (how or why was never really known). He said he was concerned because it was larger than suspected and close to the trachea, so he would feel better if we would stay in the hospital just in case the swelling were to close off his trachea (as if we were going to argue). He was released the next day. Later that night Carter began throwing up. Saturday I took him to the pediatrician because I was concerned there was some sort of infection from the surgery. They didn't think he had an infection that he was probably allergic to the antibiotics or had the flu. Monday, Carter and I flew to Las Vegas to stay with my mom for a week. He was still sick, but the surgeon had given his blessing to go on our trip, and what better place to be than with grandma when your not feeling well. Upon boarding our flight Carter proceeded to vomit all down the front of me when I was in front of the passengers, and some old man decided to make a fuss and ask the flight attendant if she was going to allow that sick baby to fly--I was already in tears. We made the flight and immediately after landing drove to an urgent care. We were sent from there to a surgeon who completely thought that his site was infected and he would need strong antibiotics and possibly have to be put under anesthesia again to have the infection cleaned out. Luckily the antibiotics worked. Five days and five shots of Rocephin later, Carter was better.
February of 2006, Carter started having breathing problems again and I thought surely he had RSV again. We were completely blindsided with Pneumonia and admitted to the hospital for 5 days. It was so horrible to see my otherwise, uncontainable 2 year old lying in the hospital bed, with absolutley no fight in him, he didn't try to get out of the bed until day 4. They were doing breathing treatments every 2 hours with chest percussion every hour for 20-30 min. (Worse, than breastfeeding a newborn). This went on for about 5 hours our first night there until I threw a big crying fit because Carter cried and fought the entire time they were doing the percussion-- to be expected I know, but I also felt that he needed some sleep to get better too. God Bless pediatric nurses, parents are the worst to deal with!! The order was changed to every 2 hours. This was an awful experience because of course the pediatric floor was overflowing because of RSV. This became my first hand experience of what it is like to be a patient on a floor where the staffing is just not what it needs to be. I have many complaints about this stay, but also have been the nurse in difficult times, so I will keep these complaints to myself. Besides, Carter did get better.
Once again, 2 days before Christmas, Carter broke out in this horrible rash!! He had a mild fever and said he "didn't feel good" but gave no specifics. I gave him benedryl that night. The next morning he looked worse, believe it or not, so off to the doc again. Dr. Nemivant knew upon walking in the room Carter had Strep Throat. Who knew?!? Well, probably all the other mom's out there, but I had no idea strep throat could make you have a rash like that, and he said his throat didn't even hurt. CRAZY!!
This June I received a call at work from Scott. Who, prior to me, had scared the Triage staff because he had called there looking for me, sounding a little frantic he said he needed to talk to me it was an emergency. They asked if he was okay and all he told them was "I am, Carter's not". They transferred the call to me and of course I was in the middle of excellent patient care, so I didn't hear that I had a call. In the meantime a few of the triage staff had ran to the pod I was on to tell me "Scott is on the phone. It's an emergency! He says it is Carter!" I nearly lost it right there, for I knew that the babysitter was planning on taking the boys in the pool and it would be right around this time. I was already in tears and shaking by the time I picked up the phone. Hearing my reaction, he said "He's fine, he just needs some stitches!" What a relief, stitches I can handle! Apparently, Carter was just sitting on a skateboard when one end flipped up and hit him in the chin. He gets his grace from me!! The babysitter had tried to reach me, but couldn't (due to the excellent patient care I was providing), so she got a hold of Scott. She said he was doing fine, he just didn't like all the blood. Yea, neither would mommy! I met the sitter at the ER and they fixed him right up. No stitches needed, just a little glue!
As you can see we have had our share of issues with Carter, luckily none too serious. Carter's asthma is not a fun thing at all, although we are lucky that it really isn't a problem until he gets a little cold or allergies. Then it is straight to his chest and we are dealing with the respiratory distress, which is always so difficult to try and stay calm when you have to watch how hard it is for your child to breathe. Although, they say "God only gives you what you can handle". With all mommy's anxiety issues I think it is fair to say he's pushed it. It is hard enough to watch your kiddo wake up with his arm or leg that has fallen asleep and try to explain why that happens to a toddler.
